Zazaziza

Above: Moon Eclipse. Plate 497, Natural History album, Compañia Nacional De Chocolates, 1980s.

Machine: Turns energy into work.
Rube Goldberg (RG) machine: In a convoluted and seemingly absurd way, turns energy into work no one cares about.

After many imaginary diatribes, fights and long discussions, Zazaziza decided that RG machines needed a proper classification system. As with everything in life, we encountered many grey areas, borderline RG machines and plenty of non-sequiturs, but decided to continue our intellectual pursuit just the same.

In any case, for those visitors forgiving enough to read a stream of consciousness outburst badly disguised as structured thinking, here are some categories we think could be useful as a proto-framework in the study of Rube Goldbergian phenomena:

1. Purpose

Along life we may encounter machines that are Rube Golbergian proper and proud of it, machines that are proud of having a supposedly beautiful noble purpose (as delusional as that might sound), and machines that do not have a clue whether they are RG-compliant or not.

1.1 Run of the mill(ish): Those that unabashedly go great lengths to do something deemed futile. This constitutes presumably the bulk of obvious, in-your-face RG machines out there, at least in terms of popularity and media exposure. –Example: Pitagora Suitchi (info, YouTube clips)

1.2 Nihilistic: Those that do absolutely nothing, and produce that nothing in an exquisitely obfuscated, and probably proud way too. –Example: The Do-Nothing Machine

1.3 Unintentional: Those machines armed with wishful thinking and overambitious goals that usually presume their own usefulness. Ultimately, contraptions in this category thoroughly fail as efficient machines, but behave beautifully as flawless, classical RG machines. –Example: Web 2.0 software machines? national legislative branches of power?

2. Time scale

How long does it take for the machine to finish its process and yield its inefficient result? seconds? minutes? eons? are RG machines the ultimate form of procrastination?

2.1 Faster-than-you-can-blink contraptions: Some machines can operate at blazing speeds, using absurdly complex arrays of components to produce innocuous work with uttermost efficiency (time-wise.) Think of Moore’s law meets RG machines. –Example: Microprocessors, ephemeral man-made chemical elements.

2.2 Long now-compliant: Those RG machines that are in no hurry at all to finish their processes. –Example: Evolution.

2.3 Open ended/infinite: Self-assembling spontaneous machines that can lie dormant for centuries, their end result is usually completely unpredictable (but futile) and is often a one-off type of thing. If only they weren’t infinite and human race wasn’t on the verge of extinction, we could find out if they do come to an end and what happens then.
–Example: Egyptian pyramid curse mechanisms activated by archaeologists opening tombs.

3. Spatiality

Physical or geographical boundaries almost always affect the behaviour and outcome of RG machines. Admitedly, this category is a bit dodgy, but come on, you’ve already read this far… just go on.

3.1 Contained: Your garden variety of RG machine that comes to life in a garage, workshop or some contained space no larger than a 2 storey house.

3.2 Continent-engulfing, solar system-wide, etc.: Is the butterfly that flaps its wings in the Amazonian forest causing–via chaos theory–Godzilla to sneeze over Tokyo part of an RG machine?

3.3 Evil nano-level or a bit bigger RG machines: self-explanatory. –Example: Molecular switches and sensors made from RNA

3.4 Networked: Those machines that are scattered around the globe, usually each part or node of the machine can be considered an RG contraption itself, which affects all other nodes. The work produced by each module remotely triggers the next one and contributes to the whole RG machine. –Example: Baynham & Tyers RG machine. Notice the part where mobile phones are used to connect 2 parts of the machine (scrub to 2 minutes 10 seconds.)

4. Reality Layer

Is the machine made out of molecules? is it a watchable, touchable, lickable entity? does it only exist as an abstract information-processing assemblage? Do you often hear voices alerting you about the location of RG machines no one else can see?

4.1 Tangible: you know.

4.2 RG machines of the mind: Imaginary RG contraptions and psychological mechanisms of individual and collective nature that can involve awkward social interactions, hallucinations and bouts of OCD.

4.3 Virtual, software-based: Truckloads of lines of computer code to produce antiwork. It could refer also to computer simulations of physical RG machines. –Example: Using IM to chat with a person seated next to you, especially if gossiping, The incredible machine (computer game.)

5. Systemic meta relationships

How RG machines relate to their environment and among themselves.

5.1 Zombies: Apparently useful, efficient, God-fearing machines in their own right that unknowingly work as sub-processes for meta RG machines.

5.2 Metamothers: RG machines that produce RG machines. Ad nauseam.

Unsurprisingly, many pesky, incongruous afterthoughts remain in the air. For instance, if all machines are ultimately RG machines, or part of a cosmic RG machine, as we hinted at once, then RG machines aren’t that especial and you would have to ask yourself what would be the value of such a taxonomy. At this point everything seems very confusing. Dear imaginary reader, can you think of more/better examples and extra categories?